shea sylvia [blog edition]

“What if we drunk dialed Spencer Pratt tonight? *67 and let...”
— A friend who shall remain...

Dec 31st

I somehow just remembered that today is Joey...

Dec 31st

Dec 31st

soupsoup: nickmcglynn: The Sad Ending of the ‘00 New...

Dec 31st

Max is going to live with his new family today! I am...

Dec 31st

“I’d rather regret the things I have done than the...”
— Lucille Ball

Dec 30th

Internets.

Dan: How long until your 'net is restored?
Me: Jan. 17th... Frakkin' A, I say. Although it's going to be pretty sweet when I get it.
Dan: OMG. That's a long time from now.
Me: I know. That was the soonest installation date I could get. Apparently installation takes 4-6 hours.
Dan: WTF
Me: The installation guy and i might be BFFs by the time it's over.
Dan: Are you buying your internet from NASA?
Shea: Apparently, yes

Dec 30th

This is what I miss out on when I don’t go home for...

Dec 30th

Erin is moving to DC to be with her...

Me: Congrats! When everything falls into place, you know it's meant to be!
Erin: No joke. Now let's just hope & pray he doesn't start crying as we pull into ... Ohio?
Me: ROFL

Dec 30th

MTV Brings 'The Hills' Spinoff 'The City' to...

Dec 30th

“Your neither witty nor charming, but you do seem to be quite...”
— “DaveTheWave”, a...

Dec 30th

“After he left, I cried for a week. And then I realized that...”
— Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the...

Dec 30th

Stop.

Things people do on Twitter that will likely result in me unfollowing them or, at the very least,...

Dec 30th

“Christmas was ok. I dubbed it my Merry Gay Christmas because...”
— Me, in an email to Jana. It...

Dec 29th

(via arrestedstills) “These are my awards, Mother,...

Dec 29th

Resolutions.

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. Why? Because I will likely lose interest in...

Dec 29th

Vacay.

I’ve been without internet for the past four days because I may have downloaded a bunch of...

Dec 29th

soupsoup: My sinuses are making me feel like this little...

Dec 28th

“Intimacy is a four syllable word for, “Here’s my...”
— Meredith Grey, Grey’s...

Dec 28th

My favorite people in the whole world. Christmas is not the...

Dec 24th

“I’m so thankful for this little life I’ve created… It’s not...”
— Julia Allison (don’t...

Dec 24th

Dec 23rd

“I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going...”
— Kurt Vonnegut

Dec 23rd

Watch

Or is this the best TV theme song ever?

Dec 23rd

Watch

Best TV theme song ever?

Dec 23rd

Watch

MTV must have played this trailer 70 times last night during The Hills finale (which I shamelessly...

Dec 23rd

“…You are beautiful and one of the most hilarious...”
— My friend, Mandy, to me. I...

Dec 23rd

Daniel: So what’s the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum, or is it something else? Maybe…...

Dec 22nd

So I did a vanity search today (don’t hate) and this...

Dec 22nd

Matt: So you know [redacted], my partner at Cherp?
Me: Oh, you mean your little friend?
Matt: No. He's isn't a fairy or pixie. I don't carry him in a magical glowing vial, nor do i keep him in a small lantern on a stick in my backyard. He's a real sized person.

Dec 22nd

“Getting even is one reason for writing.”
— William Gass (via...

Dec 22nd

Proposed Chapters for "The Book"

Ch. 1 - Really? For a Guy? Really? Ch. 2 - Liquid Courage Usually Turns into Liquid Humiliation Ch....

Dec 22nd

Do you have any idea how badly I want to...

This is a test of my ability to keep something private. It’s hard.

Dec 22nd

The saga of Matt's jeans makes the newspaper

Dec 22nd

“Serious flaw in Internet Explorer not fixed yet....”
— fark.com headline (via...

Dec 20th

Authenticity.

In a long convo last night over coffee, the topic of how you portray yourself and how others...

Dec 19th

My friends and I may be planning a prom party. This may be...

Dec 18th

Baby, it’s cold outside.

Dec 18th

soupsoup:kellyreeves:interweber: Cannot choose a favorite:...

Dec 18th

stupidinboston:tim-ryan:eveholt:stepliana) SANTA SUIT...

Dec 18th

Listen

stupidinboston: shegoesbam: marjchun:skylerelizabeth: “I’m Yours” - Jason Mraz “Well open up...

Dec 17th

Things I'm kind of in love with right...

My house. It gets cuter every day. I’m obsessed with it. Even the creepy basement seems...

Dec 17th

“…When a girl who isn’t a close friend or whom you...”
— Georgia True. Story.

Dec 17th

Dec 17th

Any Spencer Pratt facial hair reference is worth blogging.

Dec 17th

“Happiness is finding two olives in your martini when you’re...”
—  Johnny Carson (via pereguinn...

Dec 17th

GPOYW It’s really effing cold in here and I’m...

Dec 17th

“If she ever says the words, “I hate you”: She loves you. Or...”
— Does She Love You? by Pasha...

Dec 17th

The view from my front porch this morning. I really do love...

Dec 16th

Somehow I spent the last five hours...

Shit.

Dec 16th

“If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I’m not frightened by...”
— Angelina Jolie (via maririvera...

Dec 16th

I pretty much hate everyone today.

But I love the snow.

Dec 16th

Listen

youknowyoulovemexoxojennifer: Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine. I was listening to this on the way to...

Dec 16th

Dude.

If you’re not following Hollee, you are totally missing out.

Dec 16th

kaytee:afghanistanbananastand:thegrasshopperunit:gribble ...

Dec 16th

“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of...”
— Carrie Bradshaw (via kari-shma...

Dec 16th

I heart Dan

As I recount this weekend's many adventures, most of which are entirely humiliating...
Me: I'm so embarrassing
Dan: Haha! Shea, the most "Shea" thing about you is you plod on even in the face of embarrassment. I wouldn't know who you were if you didn't.

Dec 15th

Awk.

So it turns out that I am not very good at keeping my crushes a secret (ok, I might have not been...

Dec 15th

Watch

Pug vs. laser I am seriously going to buy a laser pen later. (Thanks Dustin for the tip!)

Dec 15th

“I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are...”
— Mark Darcy, Bridget...

Dec 15th

It’s just a little chilly.

Dec 15th

carlyjo: I no longer have any fear. Fear of rejection and/or humiliation is gone. Writing a book...

Dec 12th

How to Remain Single

In the spirit of my upcoming project with Carly (a step-by-step guide to preventing yourself from...

Dec 12th

Open Call...

… for dating horror stories. I’m working on a collaborative project tentatively titled...

Dec 12th

I think I need an intervention. But I’d like it to be...

Dec 12th

“If only there were a button somewhere that I could push to...”
— Angela Chase (via carlyjo)

Dec 11th

“I base my definition of alcoholism on Dylan McKay or the mom...”
— Me to Matt

Dec 11th

I’ve decided I’m going back to St. Maarten -...

Dec 11th

Things I Don't Get #283

Guys who pick on girls as though we’re back in kindergarten and tugging on pigtails and cootie...

Dec 11th

“Remember, if you like Nickelback - stop reading my blog and...”
— Matt on music

Dec 11th

“I must learn to love the fool in me- the one who feels too...”
— Theodore Isaac Rubin

Dec 10th

Afternoon coffee is sometimes just as good as the first cup...

Dec 10th

GPOYW It’s one degree in the office edition.

Dec 10th

GPOPW (Gratuitous Picture of Pugs Wednesday) Lola at her...

Dec 10th

My backyard this afternoon. I let the pugs out and they...

Dec 9th

(via livejamie: hoerr)

Dec 9th

Snow in my backyard this morning. It’s falling pretty...

Dec 9th

Flipping Out has been renewed for another season. I love...

Dec 9th

Listen

aliexplainsitall: Wham - Last Christmas When 80s music and Christmas music get together this is...

Dec 9th

Balls.

Last week was pretty much the worst week ever. Let’s recap: I was generally grumpy and...

Dec 8th

"Using the word vagina in casual...

Dec 8th

“Is it odd to be really attracted to my own scent?”
— My boss

Dec 8th

Jana asked. I explained.

Dec 8th

“I like being a mess. It’s who I am.”
— Ally McBeal (via carlyjo)

Dec 8th

Only in Kansas does it drop 30 degrees in a few hours. ...

Dec 8th

“As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting...”
— Rita Mae Brown (via carlyjo)

Dec 8th

jillyc: I’ve been doing some of the behind-the scenes work...

Dec 8th

In what was possibly the most eventful evening I’ve...

Dec 8th

Where I wish I was right now: on the back of a yacht in St....

Dec 5th

Matt's blog has saved me from poking my eye...

Dec 5th

A day at the office, Part 2

During Friday office lunch at PF Changs as we all read our fortunes from the fortune cookies...
Male co-worker: (reading) A new relationship will become permanent.
My boss: (with faux-sympathy) Awwww, Shea... a bridesmaid again?

Dec 5th

I hate this week.

Seriously, nothing has gone right.

Dec 5th

A Gossip Girl Spin-off?!

Dec 5th

“You’re such a good friend that if you were selling...”
— Me to my boss yesterday. ...

Dec 5th

Watch

georgiahardstark: OMFG I want a pug!!! (Sheasylvia, this is for you) Georgia has totally just...

Dec 5th

A day at the office

My boss: Gary, Unmarried is really funny. It's my favorite new show.
Me: Hmmm... I'll have to check it out.
My boss: Well, you may not like it as much because it's married people humor and, well... you're pretty far away from that.
Me: (giving him the look of death)
My boss: I'm going to go back to my desk now.
Two seconds later via IM...
My boss: You should still try and watch Gary, Unmarried.
A second later...
My boss: You don't have to speak to me today.
A second later...
My boss: Yes, you do.
It's fine. I'll just kick his ass at some nerf basketball later.

Dec 5th

“I hate disappointing just one person and I really hate...”
— Michael Scott (via soupsoup)

Dec 5th

“The problem with people who have no vices is that generally...”
— Elizabeth Taylor

Dec 4th

The Rachel Zoe Project gets picked up for a...

Dec 4th

GPOYW. Attempt at a side profile pic and smile when,...

Dec 3rd

Suck it, Holiday Season

I think the holiday season discriminates against single people. First there’s the part where...

Dec 3rd

NeNe From the Real Housewives of Atlanta -...

Dec 3rd

“If you’re on MySpace now, you’re a [expletive] cretin. And...”
— Michael Wolff (via Alley...

Dec 3rd

The 8 Best Recurring Arrested Development...

Dec 2nd

Social Media Douchebags

You know what I really hate? When people go to some sort of bullshiiit (I recently decided swearing...

Dec 2nd

“Pugs are the new Twitter.”
— Shea (via nuttynutgirl) I...

Dec 2nd

There is a family coming over to meet Max tonight and...

Dec 2nd

Bon Appetit Presents a Cocktail a Day for the...

Dec 2nd

“I don’t believe that old cliche that good things come to...”
— Ashton Kutcher (via...

Dec 2nd

gooneruk: One of the many threatening signs at Alcatraz. ...

Dec 2nd

Watch

Tony Ngo is my favorite Wichita musician (thanks to Jill and Jeff for introducing me to his magic...

Dec 2nd

Listen

Spin Doctors - Two Princes Pocket Full of Kryptonite is the first CD I ever owned.

Dec 2nd

“Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.”
— Sam, Love Actually (via...

Dec 2nd

Dec 2nd

Luxury cruise ship outruns pirates

Dec 1st

“[Beer] regulates the bowels, prevents constipation, and...”
— United States Sanitary...

Dec 1st

My house is all Christmas-fied. I love it. And I love John...

Dec 1st

Dan Contemplates His Mortality...

Dan: I just realized I'll be 29 in 3 days. I'm not sure what I think about that.
Me: OMG! I forgot about your birthday! Dan. You have one more year to make all your dreams come true.
Dan: haha, I know. Then it will be over (my life, that is). I might as well hit the retirement home.
Me: You really should just give up now and buy a shit ton of applesauce and a catheter
Dan: Damnit!
Me: You know what I'm getting you for your birthday?
Dan: Slippers?
Me: LOL
Dan: An old man's robe?
Me: No. An attitude adjustment. Life begins at 30.
Dan: :P
Me: Though I will start knitting you an afghan to keep on your lap at all times.
Dan: lol
Me: Just don't do that gross thing old people do when they chew crackers with their mouths open and don't realize they're falling out all over the place
Dan: hahahaha. I'll do that deliberately now. People will say "What the fuck is wrong with him?" And I'll say "I'm old. Pass me the applesauce! DAMN RUSSIANS!"
Me: lol! You should also start driving really slowly. And eat at buffets
Dan: lol
Me: Wear sweatpants at inappropriate times
Dan: And play slot machines? Get those visor sunglasses? That are like binoculars?
Me: YES

Dec 1st

Watch

(via soupsoup:thewordunheard) For Lance. I am going go around saying “Bye Buddy… Hope...

Dec 1st

I think I would be a lot happier if I...

Dec 1st